Animated bugles

Editor, Paul Rosenberger

Editor: Paul Rosenberger



DECEMBER 12, 2014


                Patrick Hoban


 Chuck Shonkwiler introduced, Patrick Hoban, City Development Officer for the past several years, to tell about some positive things on the Decatur’s economic horizon. Before Pat got into his presentation topic, he gave us some background that included his Decatur roots (his classmates were the sons of Chuck and Mike Boliek) and some prior jobs. He described his job as promoting Decatur’s positive logistics for new businesses to companies that are considering adding a new branch here. He suggested our city council’s desire to welcome a sporting goods outlet, another hardware store, Chipotle, etc. The touted some off our advantages such as good people who give to large fund-raising efforts (Food drives, United Way, Salvation Army, etc.), an improving unemployment number (that only counts the formerly employed, not the people who have given up looking)(currently 6000 job openings), lower crime rate than Springfield, Champaign or Bloomington (unfortunately our media highlights our domestic arrests), low cost housing (same house for 1/3 cost), abundant rail service (three major lines using ADM’s new international hub), two universities (Millikin’s fine arts and RCC’s job training), Decatur’s water supply increase efforts, and Downtown Decatur street improvements. He answered many questions about empty buildings, noting that many are still ‘rented’ (called dark leases). Patrick also noted that soon we’ll see other new business construction (the County Market on Grand, Akorn, Union Iron, Park’s Warehouses, the Nelson Park enhancements, etc.) Thanks sharing this interesting review today, Pat.



December 19 – Regular meeting at 7:00 a.m. at Scovill Golf Course Banquet Facility

December 13 – Christmas Party at Norm & Lori Jensen’s’s at 6:45 p.m.

January 6 – Board meeting at 6:50 a.m. at Perkin’s





VP Hugh Rowden reported that as per the earlier report above, our Christmas party with the white elephant gift exchange will be at the home of Norm and Lori Jensen this Saturday evening, December 13. Their address is 145 N Oakcrest. Gather at 6:45 p.m. and bring a dessert or some hors d’ouvres, as well one or two white elephant gifts, especially the traditional repeaters from prior years.

DECEMBER 12, 2014


 19 members only one guest, poisettia deliveryman George Batson, enjoyed the usual tasty breakfast. President Chuck Shonkwiler chaired the meeting. We immediately addressed the urgent change needed for a host for the next evening’s Christmas party due to Becky Gauble’s surgery to repair her heart pacemaker that very day. Quickly Norm Jensen announced that when he returned from Nebraska at 9:30 Thursday night, Lori greeted him with, “Guess what? We’re hosting the Sertoma party Saturday night.” After picking up his jaw off the floor, Lori explained to him the reason, and Norm said “OK, we can do it.” As you may recall, they had just moved into their new home last summer and Lori had recently had knee surgery, so it was a stretch, but now it’s going to happen. Thanks in advance for this offer Norm and Lori.






Sheriff Stu Hawbaker was back from hunting and again said to let your conscience be your guide on fining yourself for not having a Sertoma pin, then asked an interesting trivia question, “What day of the year experiences the most collect phone calls?” After guesses of
Christmas, Christmas Eve, New Years Day, Easter, and Mother’s day, somebody finally answered correctly, Father’s Day. Stu asked our speaker, Patrick Hoban, to pull out a winning badge; he found Tom Smith’s badge for the 50/50 prize.






VP Norm Jensen reported that we apparently did not fill one of our assigned locations for our Salvation Army Kettle bell ringing at Sam’s and North Walmart. But he recirculated the matching gift signup sheet for the Salvation Army and its total had risen to over $500. Treasurer Alex Prather will bill us for those Salvation Army pledges in January.



VP Lance Gauble was missing. Consider inviting potential members to our Christmas party and to future meetings.




                      FUTURE PROGRAMS


VP Will Sudduth reported that next Friday Larry Fouste has invited the city manager, Ryan McGrady, to come as a representative from the Salvation Army to accept our generous matching gift. Perhaps he’ll speak about his new job, too. Will reminded us that we cancelled the December 26 meeting but will meet on January 2.



 ************* NOVICE SALESMAN *************



A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota." Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor. "How many customers bought something from you today son?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day. That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota, but you're not on the farm anymore, son."
The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?" The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65". The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the Automotive Department and sold him that Ford 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?" The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.........'"

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